f i r s t

'I can't forget you when you're gone
You're like a song that goes around in my head'
Lenka

You promised to never leave until I wanted you to, well, don't you know? I'm going to hold you to your word, this wasn't a pie crust promise.
I'm thinking of words to say, convince you how I feel, everyone else laughs at how obviously I've fallen for you, it's so pathetic. Maybe there's been so many girls...it's all the same to you.

 

Every little thing reminds me of you, it's quite pathetic how absorbed I am.
Some days you feel so real, but there's times that I wonder why unrequited love is my life's theme.
You say I seem so far away, well love, I'm right here waiting for you. No matter how sad it seems, I can't help it, my heart lifts when I see you there. Then morning comes, and I try not to notice how time flies.

You say it's better if you leave, that you're bad for me.
well, if tearing me apart is better, better than what? Isn't it bad enough that you're going in a few months?
Thinking of January reduces me to tears, please don't make it come any swifter.

Why are you so afraid of hurting me? You are one of the best things to ever happen to me.

I start to imagine talks, where I would make you laugh with every word I said...I would be insightful,

or witty, or charming...and you'd want to call me...and you know what? I would be there every time.

I may be quiet, yes, you make me bashful, did you know it's hard to make conversation when abashed?
You make me have butterflies, the first person to make me want to squirm with happiness
just because you stroke my hair. Why do you think that's a bad thing?

 

Somehow, I'm not much for words of affection, but you got under my skin, more than
anyone ever did. It's a tattoo, a undeniable mark that you left on me, there forever.
You've gone through so many girls, I over analyze your words, and waste my days remembering, but the truth is, I've never felt like this before. And suddenly I'm becoming part of your past, part of the part that's not going to last. And it breaks my heart.

You'll find another girl, but I don't know that it's so easy. (it tore...tears...me up)
 I don't know if this can work, I don't know whether it should work, but I was going to try, but it takes two to make this last. I'll let you go, it'll be ok....you just have to tell me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------